Okay today I am going to take you through the five steps to safely peeing on a Fiat Panda. No not a real panda you sick individual that would just be plain cruel.
Piss on a Panda
Day 10 – Venice to Assisi
Another day of bloody church’s and castles on hill tops. A testament to man’s ability to rape and pillage his neighbour over the ages. Ohhh that was pretty deep, better lay of the bourbons Grevious. Any hoooow, found some mosaic’s dated 5-6 AD, nearly as old as the plonker’s mother.
The hilltop Republic of San Marino. The plonker told Lynda it must be a new country as it was a Republic…… %^$& internet blew that one …. Ha ha ha
No pic’s of me in this lot but I got one over on the local fuzz. Will detail later 🙂
Photos of the battlements and forts at each point of the crest. There is even a plonker on the battlements.
Last two are of Assisi during the day and at night. This is actually a hill top town with old castle ruins etc. The plonker got lost and spent a couple of hours winding around one lane one way streets. He called it exploring … we all know what that means !!!!
Day 9 – Venice
Okay a full day in Venice. Not going to mention those f@$#^& gondolas. Started of the day by finding a bike for Lardy and Matt. Name on the crossbar says it all.
Art in Venice “Kiss my Arse” Tried to get some culture in Venice and cross some cultural boundaries … wink wink.
The video shows the best use of those silly Golden Waving Cats I have ever seen.
Hanging out with the lion when I got flash mobbed and nearly kidnapped. The plonker reckons it was a close thing as he wouldn’t have chased the little buggers.
Finally some random shots , if you want tourist shots google Venice … ha ha ha.
Day 8 – Milan to Venice
The bastards wouldn’t let me out today, a travelling day they said with the usual hill with either a castle or church on top of it. Discovered toll roads in Italy and the relief from a roundabout very 2-3 kilometers. Two photos of a castle and walls, village apartments are actually inside the walls.
A terrible shot of a gondola by the plonker.
The photos of the sweet shop the plonker reckons would make his eldest son think he was in heaven, all his favorite food groups displayed, ie sugar sugar and more sugar.
The Bacaro Jazz bar is for those old ANZ buggers at The Greenman back home as the interior decorations should make them happy.
I’m guessing the plonker will take me to Venice tomorrow and find somewhere degrading for me to be photographed….. just don’t let it be in one of those gondola things.
Day 7 – Lucerne to Milan
After taking a photo of some poncey castle in Lucerne it was of to Milan via the Swiss Alps.
Nice green country side with a bit of rain then WTF in 20 minutes it was all white and the plonker was driving through a snow storm. Lynda got a video of it with Bob Dylan sing “Shelter from the Storm” in the background … talk about cheesy.
Not to be out done Italy unleashed hail and torrential rain upon us as well. Got to Milan pretty worn out. Plonker said there was a special bath for me in the LARGE bathroom. Even took a pic of me enjoying a soak.
Of to another bloody restored castle only to be put in the jail.
Beginning to hate these two. So I just hung out in the hotel by myself.
Day 6 – Strasbourg to Lucerne
Day 6 – Strasbourg to Lucerne
Off to Lucerne today, the plonker has convinced Lynda that Freiburg in Germany was an entrance to the Black Forest (Don’t know why he was counting countries)
Discovered some allotments on the on the way to Colmar and ran into a kids fair at Mulhouse.Then it was across the border to Germany.
The plonker bought me a beer and took photos of me riding my Harley.
Then a German tickle monster caused me a night mare and I woke up to find out the photo’s that !@## !@!# had taken.
Worst of all I slept through the resort towns of Titisee and Schluchsee in the Black Forrest !!!!
Day 5 – Paris to Strasbourg
The plonker managed to score a new rental car ( 2000 km ) and a diesel to boot the cheap bas@#$d. Long boring trip for moi. Plonker tried to hang me on the Nancy city sign but wasn’t having a bar of that “Nancy Boy” can hang himself on a sign or even better yet one of those rooster weather vanes.
Strasbourg – scarfie city of Germany but looks better than Dunedin
they will pay
Woke up to find that Lynda and the plonker had left without me. Checked the photos and am really mad now. Seems they went to Bastille and had lunch and checked out Hotel Scully ( far to many photos) then caught the Metro to Republic Square. Then to Champs Elysee to have some diner and beers before taking some night shots .. they will pay for this insult.
Paris
That plonker that Lynda lets hang around left his wallet open.
Quick smart things got very Oui Oui bad.
Then the plonker caught up with me and made me go for a job interview.
The utter Bast@#$.
Okay Day One in Paris
Landed at 2:30 found the hotel at 4:30. The taxis driver gave us the standard tour around Paris to our hotel. Hence the few undercover photos of Paris’s more unknown tourist attractions.
At 6:30 pm we ventured into the heart of the beast “Le Metro”. If it wasnt for the trail of bread crumbs left behind we probably would never have surfaced alive. This is not a 2 zone trip from Candelabra or a 3 zone trip from Woburn to Les Greenman its far more complex than that !!!
